Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Author:Claire Kann
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

CHAPTER

20

The receptionist let Alice know her appointment with Dr. Burris would start on time. Turning around, she flopped down in the first available seat in the waiting area.

She hadn’t planned on coming back to see Dr. Burris, her initial idea being to take her consultation and run, but then he had e-mailed her to check in. She told him about her insurance, her parents, and why she couldn’t come back—and he offered her an extremely generous discount for two sessions per month.

“Alice?” Dr. Burris gave her a warm smile.

In his office, she settled into the same armchair with only half the nervousness she had experienced at their first appointment.

“Last we spoke,” he began, “you were experiencing some anxiety and uncertainty regarding your sexuality.”

“Yeah, that’s still happening. Sort of. But not really.”

“All right.” He wrote something on his notepad. Alice craned her head to try to read it. “Would you like to continue discussing that?”

“Also not really.” She shook her head. “It’s like, my problem is everyone else. I’m not ashamed or uncertain or whatever. I’m ace. It’s cool. I just don’t want to be anybody’s poster child. I’m not made for the front lines. I’ll wither and cry under pressure, so it’s better if I keep it to myself for now.”

“Interesting.” He shifted in his seat. “Have you thought about joining any clubs on your college campus as a means to build a support system for yourself? Engaging with others who identify as you do could help bring about a level of comfort that will enable you to speak freely.”

Alice resisted the urge to snort. “Nah. I think those are great for some people, especially if you’re the right color, not bi, and certainly not ace. So.”

“Ah, I see. It’s unfortunate that you’ve experienced that. What about groups online?”

“I use Tumblr, which is probably the best support system for me right now. I mean, it’s a super garbage fire of discourse sometimes, but really, we all just hyper-love everyone and everything and want our ships to sail, regardless of canon or what anyone else thinks. And there’ll be posts with literally thousands of notes that’ll make the rounds saying things like, ‘If you’re Black and you’re ace, you’re valid and I love you,’ which is really nice to read when you’re not expecting it. You know that saying, ‘love is love,’ right? I’ve heard it thousands of times, but I learned it, internalized it, because of the blogs I follow on Tumblr.” She laughed, feeling good and lighthearted, but wanting to change the subject. She was paying for this after all. “Anyway, I can use this time for whatever I want to talk about, right?”

“This is a safe space,” he reminded her.

“Do you think it’s okay to only have like two friends? I’m a firm believer in quality over quantity in the friendship sector, but I’m starting to think I might be wrong.”

“First, to answer your question, my opinion on the number of friends any one person should have is irrelevant.

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